Ramadan Dia cuatro: Forgiveness?
Aug. 4th, 2011 04:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
akilanajmahAstaguhfirullaaha
This is the biggest thing I struggle with. And I ask Allah "Allah, please be patient with me while I turn from sin. And let me be a blessing to others."
Unlike other religions where people are instructed to continue to forgive in the face of many transgressions, the Qur'an makes clear that last minute repenting and insincere repentance won't be accepted. At the same time, it makes clear that people are weak and we need help and God loves us and wants to be that help.
And how that translates to us little people?
We should be patient with others if they're really making an effort, but we shouldn't keep going with them if they aren't trying. There're several ayah in the Revelation that specifically talk about leaving behind those who are bad for you. That doesn't mean not forgiving them obviously, but leaving aside that which would take us down a bad path. Stress, drama, fighting, violence-- all bad things in anyone's book.
The thing that Allah is really good at and that I'm really terrible at though, is ascertaining sincerity in repentance.
I read a book late last year (or early this year, no se) called the Five Languages of Apology.
I have a situation in my life where I've cut a person out of my life because they continue to ignore boundaries, continue to blame me for failings that have nothing to do with me and to deny culpability in any actions that hurt me. Any time I've brought it up the cycle repeats-- ignore, shift blame, blame me, deny, deny, deny.
But this book I read talked about how certain people need a certain type of apology. I'm a person who needs the genuine acknowledgement of what was wrong and a promise not to do it again. "I did X. I'm sorry. It was wrong because Y and I'll do my best not to let it happen again."
That's how I apologize when I pray. Ya Allah, I gossiped and lied today. I know better. Please be patient as I try to do better. Guide me away from sin and toward that which pleases you.
But something happened today, that I didn't think would happen. Someone else that keeps doing the same messed up thing to me apologized perfectly-- and it was so easy to accept it (well, not really but it wasn't impossible). But does his facility with words mean that he's more or less sincere than someone who doesn't realize that their stressed out, defensive way of dealing with transgression?
Something to contemplate.
Scarf thrifted, underscarf Al Andalus.
This is the biggest thing I struggle with. And I ask Allah "Allah, please be patient with me while I turn from sin. And let me be a blessing to others."
Unlike other religions where people are instructed to continue to forgive in the face of many transgressions, the Qur'an makes clear that last minute repenting and insincere repentance won't be accepted. At the same time, it makes clear that people are weak and we need help and God loves us and wants to be that help.
And how that translates to us little people?
We should be patient with others if they're really making an effort, but we shouldn't keep going with them if they aren't trying. There're several ayah in the Revelation that specifically talk about leaving behind those who are bad for you. That doesn't mean not forgiving them obviously, but leaving aside that which would take us down a bad path. Stress, drama, fighting, violence-- all bad things in anyone's book.
The thing that Allah is really good at and that I'm really terrible at though, is ascertaining sincerity in repentance.
I read a book late last year (or early this year, no se) called the Five Languages of Apology.
I have a situation in my life where I've cut a person out of my life because they continue to ignore boundaries, continue to blame me for failings that have nothing to do with me and to deny culpability in any actions that hurt me. Any time I've brought it up the cycle repeats-- ignore, shift blame, blame me, deny, deny, deny.
But this book I read talked about how certain people need a certain type of apology. I'm a person who needs the genuine acknowledgement of what was wrong and a promise not to do it again. "I did X. I'm sorry. It was wrong because Y and I'll do my best not to let it happen again."
That's how I apologize when I pray. Ya Allah, I gossiped and lied today. I know better. Please be patient as I try to do better. Guide me away from sin and toward that which pleases you.
But something happened today, that I didn't think would happen. Someone else that keeps doing the same messed up thing to me apologized perfectly-- and it was so easy to accept it (well, not really but it wasn't impossible). But does his facility with words mean that he's more or less sincere than someone who doesn't realize that their stressed out, defensive way of dealing with transgression?
Something to contemplate.
Scarf thrifted, underscarf Al Andalus.
