My heart has adopted every shape...I follow the religion of Love

Don't think that it is a coincidence that so many of the people who're appearing in the film, who're acknowledging this is an issue, are on the East coast. You've had generations to see how that plays out. That's why you see Khalid and Suhaib on the cover of everything, because finally, people are realizing that one size doesn't fit all.

I watched this khutba a few weeks ago and what struck me was the message that when bad things are going on, it isn't really that God is punishing you, but that He is trying to turn you toward Him so that you'll call out for His help. 

But the part that I was supposed to take with me was the part about not being silent about your pain. Brother Navaid says that evil flourishes when we're silent-- silent about our oppression, silent about or abuse, silent about our suffering. And in the moment it didn't hit me so hard but yes, when we suffer silently we're not especially stoic or whatever-- we're perpetuating stereotypes about certain types of behaviors expected of women. Especially WoC and we're not helping ourselves.

Whether it is confession to God (like the hadith that Khalid is fond of speaking of where, I paraphrase, there was a man of his people who was hiding a terrible sin and God said that until he confesses, there will be no rain and the guy never came forward but he prayed to God for forgiveness earnestly and when Ibrahim was like "Wait, we have rain, but no one came forward." And God was like "Oh, hey, I've always known his sin and I've been covering it for 40 years, it was between us. It was his confession, his unburdening himself to me that caused me to return the rain.) or to others, holding onto things silently isn't really the way to go about it. When we speak our pain we allow others to act as insturments of Allah to help,  we lighten our load and we take the favors bestowed upon us to others after our pain has subsided.

That's why evil favors silence. Keep your sexuality to yourself. Don't talk about that rape. Don't talk about that experience. Don't talk about how much you were hurt. Silence allows the oppression to flourish. We can pretend everything is fine and ignore our sole duty of pursuing justice for all those who are unjustly oppressed, for soothing them and ourselves. 

Me missing a post is pretty characteristic of the day yesterday. I forgot to set my alarm to get me up before dawn (I've been waking up at around 4) and I woke up SEVEN MINUTES AFTER THE SUN ROSE. Ay de mi. I panicked. Should I do fajr really quick and not get any suhoor? Or should Just get with some quickie suhoor, do wudu and pretend like it isn't almost 6AM? I thought about it.

I tried to rememeber what Shayk Khalil Abdur Rashid said. He said that if you accidentally break your fast, just keep fasting and make it up later.



But what would be better? Missing suhur (which confers blessings and serves the essential purpose of keeping you from crashing or intentionally breaking fast) and likely breaking fast with intention later (which is not cool and you are required to do charitable pennance) or fasting after a quick suhur and making the day up later as though I'd accidentally broken fast.

I decided on the latter. I didn't intentionally fail to set my alarm or wake up as the sun was rising. And I fasted all day, ultimately, like normal.

So yeah. That was generally the nature of my day.

I had planned to post this, so here it is:

When Ramadan-ing, it's encouraged to have a Ramadan State of Mind.

It's a state of mind and state of body that is resilient to pain, longing, easy comfort and selfish desires.

An observer can easily perceive this month long fast as an exercise in masochism commanded by a sadistic Creator who enjoys denying his "trying-to-get-by worshippers" food, water, sex and bad etiquette from sunrise to sunset. To add insult to famine, we're also encouraged to increase our prayer -- as if the daily 5 prayer ritual wasn't enough -- and give charity despite being mired in one of the worst recessions since the Great Depression.

The Usual Ramadan Wikipedia Posts

Your usual "Ramadan" blog posts give you a quick Wikipedia facts update on how this is the 9th month in the Islamic lunar calendar in which the Quran was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Upon sighting the new moon, Muslim communities worldwide become spiritually charged avatars of ascetic awesomeness immersed in reflection, forgiveness,prayer, reconciliation and generosity.

1.5 billion Muslims magically transform overnight and jettison their messy, imperfect, human emotional baggage, because that's the miraculous power of Ramadan and being Muslim!

We become Yodas with kufis and Splinters in thobes. We are Mr. Miyagis and Morgan Freemans dispensing calm, sage advice and composing ourselves elegantly like a stereotypical ascetic monk only seen in Hollywood movies as quiet Asian men in robes.

This, my friends, is not reality.

Most of us spend at least half the month complaining about being Muslim and flirting with the idea that maybe worshipping fire (Zoroastrianism) isn't such a bad gig.

The Nostalgia of Old Men

A few days ago I sat with a bunch of friends at Ma's Halal Chinese Restaurant in San Jose talking about the upcoming month of fasting.

We're all old men now, mostly in our early 30's, and gone are the days when we thought hair would last forever or we'd be able to sustain a 6 pack. Some of us have wives and kids, and mostly all carry a one-pack gut. We are good folks just trying to get by and we fondly remember the glory years when we could play basketball for 3 hours without stretching and then eat 2 slices of Blondie Pizzas and stay up for most of the night playing video games and still function with 2 hours of sleep.

"Man, it kinda sucks being Muslim. Islam really ruins my life sometimes," I complained.

"Word. This Ramadan is gonna' be brutal. Morning prayer is like at 4:50 am, then we have to go to work, then we break our fast at 8:45 pm," a friend replied.

"Maybe you can trick Allah and move to Australia. They open fast at 5 pm. Or, just travel all month and you can do a write-off and make it up during the Winter," another friend added.

"I thought about it, but I think Allah knows this stuff. F my life. Anyway, inshallah (God willing), it'll be ok."

"Yeah, I guess. At least there will be some bomb-ass iftars." That was the group consensus: at least there will be some "bomb-ass iftars."

Annoying Muslims

Then, there's the Muslims. They annoy the hell out of me. Islam would be far more pleasant if it had less Muslims. Really. Sometimes I feel like being Reverend Lovejoy of The Simpsons and suggesting other religions to the Ned Flanders of our communities.

We Muslims are obsessed with Unity for some reason, but can only unify on how much disunity exists within our communities. For the first time in years, every community is starting their fast on the same day. Some of you are asking, "Why? Don't you all start at the beginning of the Islamic month?"

Well, there are two camps. I refer to them as "Moonies" and "Computer God Muslims." The former say we have to see the new moon with the naked eye and only then we can officially begin Ramadan. The latter camp says we should rely on technology and if the new moon rises, despite being visible to the human eye, then we are officially a "go" for Ramadan.

Naturally, these two camps rarely agree thus resulting in major social awkwardness when telling our bosses, "Yeah, I might have to take either Tuesday or Wednesday off for Eid in a month. I'll let you know in a bit. Yeah, it's a Muslim thing. Just...trust me."

But, fortuitously, this year "Moonies" and "Computer God Muslims" apparently made a truce with a celestial power, saw the crescent moon the same night, and now we're all on the same schedule. Sweet!

Optimus Prime Muslims

But, sadly, this unity means bumping into more "Optimus Prime Muslims." These are Muslims who transform during Ramadan - and only during Ramadan - into obnoxious, religious blowhards and completely change their personality and behavior traits for 30 days only to de-evolve into the same exact human being immediately on Eid, the day celebrating the end of fasting.

These guys stop listening to music, watching tv, logging on facebook, reading magazines and the whole shabang. Now, I have no problem with this. Go forth and free thyself from these technological crutches that have paralyzed human interactions, I say! However, I do have a problem with Optimus Prime Muslims lecturing me for being a heathen for occasionally watching a Netflix flick or catching a re-run of Dexter.

"You watch movies during RAMADAN!?!? Wow...ok, maybe we were...raised...differently. Well, Allah is Merciful...I guess."

Listen, I don't drink, do drugs, beat people up, snort cocaine off of strippers' bellies, gamble or even know what bacon tastes like. Life is hard for a practicing Muslim. Relent. Give a brother some instant Netflix. That's all I'm asking.

We also have family and friends. Ah, yes. Family and friends - how can we forget them: the cause and solution to so much of life's joys and pain.

Machiavellian Strategy

Before Ramadan, each married couple or family unit strategically "claims" out a weekend in advance during Ramadan to host their Iftar party. You have to quickly send your Facebook evite, because those slots fill up damn quick. What happens when you have competing iftar parties? Where do you go? Whom do you choose?

This puts many of us in some serious, sticky social situations. You need to dust off Machiavelli's Prince and get prepared. It's like being a Senator in Old Rome - an environment filled with intrigue, strategy, partial deception and sycophantic pleasantry -but, sadly, no nudity.

The State of The World

And, of course, the ongoing depressing state of the world reminds us daily that perhaps Armageddon is around the corner and the four horsemen of the Apocalypse will probably be wearing GAP and starring in their own reality TV show.

We just emerged from a debt ceiling crisis that might destroy our economic future. There is famine, civil war, and violence throughout the world.

A hate-filled bigot killed 76 people, mostly youth, in Norway.

Haiti, Pakistan and Japan are still recovering from some of the worst natural disasters in modern history.

People were promised bright futures and jobs only to land in their parents' homes which is about to be foreclosed by a bank that received a bailout and gave record bonuses to its executives.

And, the shadow of 9-11 looms in the horizon.

So, how am I supposed to have a Ramadan State of Mind?

So, why do I keep doing this year after year? After all, there is no compulsion in my religion. I can easily snack on a tasty burger and wash it down with a sugary coke while my fellow Muslims slog through the heat. I don't have to pray or be charitable or reconcile with loved ones or forgive my enemies or myself. I can be flippant, rude, mean, selfish and brash, and simply "tell it like it is" instead of exercising restraint, moderation and patience.

It's all about perspective and appreciating the journey. The experience when framed by the proper intention always makes me a stronger, resilient and more spiritually balanced individual.

Really, each and every Ramadan, there's always a net positive.

Yes, the shadow of 9-11 looms and it seems America has gone cray-cray with extremist rhetoric, hate speech, divisiveness, and Islamophobia, with 2012 Republican Presidential candidates, such as Herman Cain, recommending banning mosques and denying Muslim Americans their constitutionally protected rights.

Yes, some "Muslims" around the world are still hijacking our faith to rationalize their perverse, criminal actions of hate and terror. Yes, Americans are suffering from uncertainty, confusion and economic hardship. There is a war in Afghanistan, Pakistan is exploding, and Iraq has yet to heal. The world is reeling from environmental tragedies.

Madness seems to be Kool-Aid of the day.

But, the Ramadan State of Mind allows me to see this as an opportunity - to push things forward and evolve as an individual, as a community and as a society. Instead of reacting with hate, despair and nihilism, this month allows us to ask for Allah's Mercy and blessings.

It puts me in a spiritual zone where I'm allowed and encouraged to hope.

My hunger is temporary but in the long term I gain awareness and empathy. I starve myself of the world and hope to taste something sweeter.

Yes, the transformer Muslims annoy the hell out of me, but I know they're simply trying their best to do what's right in their own obnoxious way. Sure, I have to engage in Machiavellian strategy to save face when I ditch Iftar parties, but I'm grateful to have friends and family who love me enough to share their happiness with me.

And the world has been mad since it was born, but I cannot carry its burdens on my shoulders alone.

All I can do is try the best I can with the time I have. And sometimes that time comes packaged in 30 days where fasting might seem like an exercise in masochism to the world. But, observe closely, because sometimes - sometimes - you can see that worshiper smile despite the hunger, thirst, and exhaustion.

That person has a Ramadan State of Mind.

I hope to be fortunate enough to taste what he's having for Ramadan.

And it just may be that resilience and hope are the main courses on the menu.

Wajahat Ali

And since my day was a little frazzled, you get to see the same scarf again. It is one of my favorites and I wear it often-- it was sort of disheveled yesterday. The underscarf is a scrap of fabric from a skirt AND I am wearing zero makeup. Ay.

It's a new day today though! Woo!

Another good one from one of my favorite imams.

Baba Ali is a comedian, and he runs a singles website called Half Our Deen. In this video he starts out with a funny parody (I'll admit I laughed out loud when he said "Say it slower!") but gets into a more serious issue-- one that is my personal pet peeve.

So sorry I haven't been around. I still pray and thank God, but I don't always get to write.
In truth, I was conflicted about what to write last week. There's so much being said about the niqab ban and Muslims/Non-Muslims and women hating veiling and men promoting freedom to veil... that I wanted to talk about what the Qur'an actually says about modesty, who it applies to and how it has been interpreted but it seemed sort of daunting. I know where I stand but respect voices on both sides of the debate. Also, I hate that the conversation devolves into WELL THIS ISNT ISLAM on both sides. Hey, Islam is lots of things to lots of people.

And then I got to listen to a conversation about Hadith and why the Prophet asked that people not write his words down and the differences between interpretations about what "Follow your Prophet" means.

And then, Suhain Webb yesterday got into a tizzy about someone approaching women in prayer and adjusting them. He says it's inappropriate, to let people be with God in the way they are and let growth happen.

And all of that together got me into thinking about pluralism. So that's where we are today.

A couple of definitions of religious pluralism are as follows:

• As the name of the worldview according to which one's religion is not the sole and exclusive source of truth, and thus that at least some truths and true values exist in other religions.
• As acceptance of the concept that two or more religions with mutually exclusive truth claims are equally valid. This posture often emphasizes religion's common aspects.

I occasionally hear Muslims saying "Well, Muhammad (SAW) was the last of the prophets, so what he said was the most true."





But usually, as in the incredibly frustrating video above (the video shows Florida Pastor Terry Jones making analogies between his protest of a Michigan mosque to Martin Luther King Jr and him being completely pwned by an Imam who asks him what he actually knows of the Qur'an), there are Muslims out there saying "But the Qur'an embraces nearly all religions."

Let's take a look at the surahs shall we?

Surah Ash-Shura says: He has laid down for you the same way of life and belief which He had commended to Noah, and which We have enjoined on you, and which We have bequeathed to Abraham, Moses and Jesus, so that they should maintain the order and not be divided among themselves.

In Surah al Baqarah, God tells Muslims what to say. It says: Say: "We believe in God and what has been sent down to us, and what had been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and their progeny, and that which was given to Moses and Christ, and to all other prophets by the Lord. We make no distinction among them, and we submit to Him." (emphasis added).

The exact words above are also found in Surah Al Imran (3:84) and the sentiment is repeated in An-Nisa: Those who believe not in God and His apostles, and desire to differentiate between God and His messengers, and say: We believe in some, and not others, and wish to find a way between affirmation and denial are verily the real unbelievers. But those who believe in God and His apostles and make no distinction among any of them, will be given by Him their recompense; for God is forgiving and kind. 

The Prophet was said to say that there were 124,000 prophets before him. In India, in China, in Persia, in Africa... etc.

To me, the God is revealing that He is beyond a single name or concept. She is saying "Listen, I will come to you in whatever form you need for you to understand me. You may call me any name. You may pray in many ways. All of them are valid. All of them reach Me. Jesus is as good as Noah and as good as Muhammad was as good as everyone else who looked for Me and found Me." The fact that the Creator goes out of the way to say "HEY YOU CANNOT PICK AND CHOOSE!

Surah Ar-Rum, ayah 20-22: Among His signs is that He created you from the earth and you are now human beings dispersed everywhere. Another of His signs is that He created mates of your own kind of yourselves so that you may get peace of mind from them and has put love and compassion between you. Verily, there are signs for those who reflect.  Among other signs of His is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variety of your tongues and complexions.


It follows, to me, that God is asking us to celebrate diversity and language and the different names that different people may call Him, the different prophets that brought Her message and the equality among all of us both as creations of God and as made of the same stuff, clay.

Seems pretty clear to me.

It's national poetry month!

If you read my other journal you may've remembered Imam Latif's invite to hang out while he was here in Seattle-- well, this is what he was doing. It's really amazing. I suggest you watch!